Belief, knowing and faith – same same but different. And how to use them

“Belief needs no knowledge, knowledge needs no belief.”

 

This article came about the question, do I believe something or do I know something? The theory goes that, what you believe to be true, will be true. i.e. do you believe you will win a race or do you know you will win the race. It is 2 very similar concepts, however they do have subtle differences.

 

There is this debate about the difference of knowing and believing. What does it actually mean to know something or to believe something?

Belief in something is stated as; you have accepted something to be true without evidence. It is an internal state of being.

Whereas Knowing something, is you possessing the knowledge and/or wisdom of something.

 

Let’s presuppose for this article that;

Belief means you have 100% belief, no doubt.

Knowing means you have 100% sense of knowing.

 

You do not need evidence to believe something nor does it need to be correct or true for you to believe something. Belief is more of a state of being, an intention combined with a feeling, the feeling of belief, the feeling it is already done.

 

Knowing definition:

·        showing or suggesting that one has knowledge or awareness about something.

·        done in full awareness or consciousness.

·        having or reflecting knowledge, information, or intelligence

Knowledge is a familiarity or awareness, of someone or something, such as facts, skills, or objects contributing to one’s understanding

 

A knowing has facts and evidence. How can you know something without the knowledge of the object? A knowing without evidence or facts is an opinion.

 

The key comes in to combine the knowing and the belief. When we start talking about the law of creation or law of attraction, the key to create/attract is to combine emotions with intention. When you manage to get it right, then you will enter a state of belief. You believe it to be true, you believe you will heal from the disease. That opens up the knowing of your healing. You just know you are healing.

It’s a tough concept to grasp at first.  

 

Can you change your beliefs?

 

If beliefs are a state of being, and you were taught your beliefs, then beliefs can be changed. You can change your religious views, your view on love, your belief that good things always happen to you etc.

If someone says “bad things always happen to me”, that is an underlying belief. That belief though, is not supporting you to a fulfilled and happy life. It would be wise to change that belief.

From this deduction, all of our life experiences are as a result of our beliefs.

Do you believe the food will taste good?

Do you believe your partner will be loving? If you change this to, ‘if you believe your partner will be faithful’, then you are adding a layer of doubt, and wherever doubt is, disappointment and pain follows. So be sure you word your life the way you really want it. Presume your partner will be faithful by focusing on the positive aspects, he/she will be loving and caring etc. Be specific.

Do you believe you are good at your job?

Our life is filled with beliefs. It is part of what makes our reality real. For if you stopped believing you are always at fault or that you are always ‘so busy’, then you will not have anything to complain about, then what?

 

We can’t really replace the word ‘believe’ in the above paragraph with ‘knowing’, because you can not know your partner to be faithful meanwhile, he/she is not. The knowing is the truth. You can assume he/she is faithful based on the behaviour, but you can not have that ‘knowing’ without proof.

As mentioned, belief comes without proof.

Do you know you are good at your job, or is that just your opinion? Do you know you are good at your job based on your inner convictions or must someone else say to you that you are good at your job? Then it is not a knowing, it is someone’s opinion.

 

Let’s use this example:

You’re an athlete and about to run the final race of the season. You have practiced very hard during the season and now you are ready to run this race.

You know you have worked hard, you know you have put in more hours and effort than your competitor. But do you know you will win? What is it that gives you that feeling of wining? It is a sense of belief. How can you know you will win the race if it has not happened yet? Knowing is based on facts, belief is based on your state of being and conviction.

The race is being run and your opponent wins the race. After the race you talk to your opponent and when asked how he won, the answer is, “I believed I will win”.

Now, belief with doubt is not full belief. If there is a hint of doubt, then you do not have full belief. Its like being pregnant, either you are pregnant or you are not.

 

It is my theory that with complete belief you can accomplish anything. The trick is to get your mind and body to accept it as truth without prior evidence. That gets tricky.

 

Let’s look at some major points for belief

·        Belief is a state of being and does not need something to attach to. Belief in the outcome no matter how it comes about.

·        Belief = already done

·        Belief is a sense of knowing without knowledge, but with feeling/emotion and certainty.

·        Belief does not have to be true for others, but it is true for you. A thing does not have to be true for you to believe it. i.e., Placebo effect.

·        Belief = now (You believe it now, not when some criteria is met)

·        Belief is more of a feeling, a state of being

·        Belief is a merge of awareness/intention and emotion. And hence it can be changed. It is felt together with thought/intention.

 

And knowing

·        Knowing is the understanding of something. Knowing is infinite.

·        All things are made of “knowledge” as everything is ‘known’ in the bigger scheme if things. The table is made of molecules and atoms and that is a form of knowledge. The design and method of construction is knowledge and can be seen when looking at it. Knowledge is everywhere but not everyone sees it.

·        Knowing is the action of applying knowledge to an object or situation or event.

·        Knowledge has facts involved – must have facts involved. Must have evidence. I know he did not do it; he was with me at that time.

 

Let’s add another word, “Faith”.

It is very similar to belief and knowing.

Definition: complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

 

Let’s look at some aspects of faith;

 

·        Faith = must still happen (I have faith that you will win the race. Vs I believe you will win the race. Belief is in a sense, already won, whereas faith still needs to run the race.)  

·        You have faith in something/someone or a trait (my abilities). I believe vs I faith (sounds weird). You can have faith, but you can’t be faith. You can believe in yourself without traits/abilities, but you can’t have faith in yourself without traits/abilities.

 

I have faith this medicine will heal me vs I believe this medicine will heal me.

Faith is putting it outside of you. Faith has a time delay. Believe something is already done vs have faith it is already done. One is closer to you than the other. Do you agree?

Faith can only be used on something that is still going to happen. Whereas belief can be felt ahead of the event/happening. I have faith in this medication to heal me vs I believe this medication will heal me. Belief can be felt before the healing i.e. I believe this medication has healed me, whereas I have faith that this medication has healed me doesn’t sit right.

Its almost as if these 2 words have the same meaning but different tenses. One is now, and the other is future. Try it, place these words in sentences and see “where” they are.

Belief = now

Faith = future

 

 

Are you uncertain if you have full belief? Then you don’t. This is a state of complete and full certainty. If you question yourself a tiny bit, then you do not have full belief. It is an “Un-believable state”, pun intended. If you are not there, you can’t fathom how it is, and when you are there (in that state of full belief) you can’t remember how it was previously or why you would stay there for so long.

 

 

In conclusion.

Knowing and belief is similar but not the same. When you combine belief with knowing you open yourself up for some great experiences. Imagine believing in a knowing. I know I can heal myself from this severe illness, but now you know and believe it. Do you think that results will come sooner?

There are numerous studies done on this concept. Dr Dispenza is doing amazing work on this topic and how to change your internal beliefs to align with your outside desire.

It all starts from within and finds its way out.

 

Belief is more than just a thought, it is a feeling combined with an aware intention. A lot of people are struggling to experience full belief. They believe easier what others say and what is on TV than what they feel to be true.

Learn to believe, it’s a skill, a skill that will help you throughout your life.

There are never doubts in full belief and that should be your aim, to eradicate all doubts and live with full belief. It can start as simple as believe you will get a parking spot Infront of the store. Try it, see if and where any doubts come in. Resolve those doubts and try again.

Combine the knowing with the belief. The knowing you will get the parking spot with the belief it is already there for you. Try it, and keep trying.

 

I would like to hear your feedback with this exercise. Let’s help each other build better lives and live it in a different way.

   

Live SourceFull

 

Francois

Emotions - where does it come from and can I be in control of them

We will be discussing what are emotions, what causes emotions, the effect of food on emotions, and if you can raise your emotions with higher vibrational food.

In recent times we have come to understand that everything can be broken down into frequency vibrations. A rock consists of atoms, and those atoms vibrate at a certain frequency. That makes the rock vibrate at a certain frequency, it has its own resonance. The same principles apply to our bodies.  

The emotional state we are in has an effect on the vibration of our body. Loving, healthy, happy, excited, sad, depressed, anxious etc. We can all feel the different emotions in our bodies, and sometimes in other people as well. We experience it as a vibe or feeling of a person, good, bad or ugly. This is their frequency at that moment.

 

Our emotions are mostly triggered by;

●       Food

●       Environment

●       Thoughts

●       Sense stimulation

 

However, thoughts are the main initiator of our emotions.

 

Emotions are what you feel as a result of chemical reactions in the brain. If you are in danger your brain will release adrenalin for quicker responses to escape. When you see a child in need you might feel ‘compassion’ or worried, or not. 😉

 

●       Where does these emotions come from?

●       Why do we feel those automatic responses? 

●       And can it be changed or controlled?

 

Let’s delve a bit deeper. Have you ever been around someone that reacts different to you in the same/similar situation? Your friend might stay calm in an event while you are fearful, like sky diving or speaking to an attractive person. The 2 bodies are in the same situation with 2 different experiences. Your perceptions and expectation of the situation is different.

 

It boils down to what responses we have programmed in our subconscious minds.

A person tells a joke to his 2 friends, one friend finds it offensive and the other laughs out loud. What is the difference? Is it the joke that was told or the perception of the individuals? You are right, it is the perception of the individuals.

 

But what if you can change your subconscious perception about a something or situation? Instead of feeling fearful, you change it to feeling love. Instead of feeling anger towards your partner, you feel understanding. By changing these perceptions and expectations in your mind, you will overcome the automatic response and install a new response. This is very powerful. It is the progression and evolution of ourselves.

Emotions are not feelings that just happen to us without our input, emotions can be tamed and controlled. This can be done with life planning and building some new habits.

 

Food and Emotions

Food is an important part of taming the mind and emotions. I’m sure you remember a holiday or celebration where you ate too much and felt horrible afterwards. Or when you were hungry and bought some fast food and saw your energy drain away. Eating habits as well as the type of food we eat has a big influence on your emotional state.

Although a salad might not be very filling, it does make you feel wonderful.

We all should find a diet that makes us feel wonderful. Experiment with all kinds of foods and listen to your body, how does that food make you feel. Mostly we just follow our taste sense and forget about common sense. 😊

Against popular opinion, our primary aim of eating should not be to satisfy our taste buds, but for nourishment and energy.

 

Good, healthy food makes us feel better. When we feel better, we think better thoughts. When we think better thoughts, we make better decisions that leads to better actions that leads to better results.

 

It takes A LOT more effort to feel good with a bad diet than with a good diet.

 

Side note:

At the end of the day, it comes down to our perceptions and expectations about life and events that determine how we feel. Most of our emotions are hard imprinted in our minds and bodies. It’s not always easy to change our emotions, but it’s always worth starting if you really want a change. Small daily steps lead to success. Build habits that make you feel good, like exercising and following through on commitments. Make a list of all the things and activities that make you feel wonderful, then create a plan or routine to include as much of those activities in your day.

 

Now, let’s go further.

 

What determines our vibrational frequency at large is our state of being (our feelings, thoughts, expectations, opinions and intentions). This is not just if we are happy or sad, but also if we feel successful, hopeful, shame, courageous, insecure, despair etc. Those are all vibrational frequency (energy) that our bodies emit.

Just as our bodies have a frequency, so does food. Just like the quality of fuel you put in your vehicle, the quality of fuel you put in your body will determine your body’s performance.

If you want your car to go faster you will use fuel that burns better and cleaner. If you want your body to perform better, run cleaner and lighter you must feed it a cleaner and better fuel.

 

Refer to the below figure outlining the frequencies of certain foods as well as certain parts of the body.

 

 

This gives new meaning to ‘you are what you eat’.

 

 

The faster your vibration is, the higher the emotions go. Love will vibrate at a much higher frequency than fear or guilt.

If we use that principle, then it should be clear that we should only feed our bodies food that vibrate at higher frequencies. It will make it much easier to feel love and joy and caring.

 

Our bodies are wonderful machines and can provide us with any experience we can dream up. The major reason why most of us don’t have such amazing experiences is because we do not know how to make use of our bodies optimally. By understanding the inner workings of the subconscious mind and the impact a good diet has on your body and mind, will pave the way to some fantastic experiences.

Start by creating habits that will lead to your ideal life, to the experiences you would like to have.

 

A good, healthy diet will allow you to feel more and better quality emotions and feelings. Waking up in the morning with a sore body or sore soul is not the way we were meant to live.

The easiest places to start is with the body,

●       Eating clean and fresh foods

●       And exercising

 

Food provides the fuel you need for the brain and body. Having weight trained for 10 years, I have seen the impact the diet has on health and building muscle. I have also seen how a positive expectation of results sculpted my body and fitness even further. If my mood was low, then so was my workout, and that lead to little results which meant it took longer to achieve my goals.

What makes exercising such a wonderful tool for transformation is the chemicals that are released after a good workout, called endorphins. The more you frequently feel these chemicals the more you create a habit around it. This means that within a couple of months you will feel good almost all the time. This is what we mean by creating success habits. Create habits that make you feel fantastic then fill your day and month with those activities.

 

Look at the images below taken by way of kirlian photography. This method takes photos of the energy fields around objects.

Raw, plant foods have the greatest energy fields. It makes sense then why we feel so good after eating a salad.  Even cooking the food diminishes the energy field of food.

 

 

It will be wise to eat something raw every day, include a salad in your meals, eat fruit. Your experience relies on it.

 

Next time you feel down, try eating high vibrational food for a day. Start small and create new habits eating healthy foods each day.

 

In conclusion.

If you feel better, you think better, when you think better you want to eat better, when you eat better your body feels better. It's a cycle, and the better you understand the cycle, the better you can manage your state.

 

Emotions are the driving force behind us. If you do not feel like doing something, you won’t, no matter the reasoning behind it. Eating a healthy diet will make this process of feeling much easier and will lead to greater results. Choose the food based on your desired results and not only for the taste. Our taste buds sometimes lead us into the pit.

Focus on your goals and plan around it.

 

Remember,

●       your subconscious determines your expectations,

●       the food you eat determines your mood,

●       your mood determines your thoughts

●       and your thoughts determine your emotions

 

Have fun with your emotions, and choose wisely.

What is your experience? 

 

Be SourceFull

The dangers of watching TV unconsciously

Loads of people are more familiar with whats happening ont he TV than in their own neihbourhood. These lockdowns only increased the viewing times as well. However, most people do not know or understand the dangours of watching too much TV. 

What happens when you watch TV but while you are on your phone....?

When you watch TV but are on your phoneor daydreaming about something else at the same time, you open up your subconscious for the ‘things’ and happenings on TV to enter your mind, unwillingly. This comes in the form of behaviours and expectations about certain things. I.e., Expectations about how someone must be in a relationship and when to get sick (Flu season ads) etc. 

If you were focused on the show, you are able to deny the bad feelings and ideas from the TV shows or adverts. Like seeing an actor doing something bad and immoral to another actor (Cheating, stealing, murder, etc) But if you are unaware, you are allowing these ideas and feelings to enter your body and mind. (Mind virus)

People who are generally weak minded allow unwanted negative thoughts to enter the mind-body. That energy leads to bad thoughts during your life and those bad thoughts leads to bad outcomes. 

In general, it’s better not to watch TV or programs that is not improving yourself or your state of being. 

Be careful what you put into your body; some things are more harmful than a take away meal.

Do parents’ actions have an impact on the personality building of their children?

Children learn by example, not by word. It is very important for a parent to have their "sh*t" together when raising a child. if you don’t, you are just making a copy of your bad behaviour. We should as parents always strive to raise children that will become better than us. This we do by leading by example. A lot of parents have not learnt this concept yet and do not fully understand the importance of this concept. 

Small children build the foundation of their personalities when they are very young. What most people/parents don’t recognise is that young children do not learn verbally, but emotionally. We have the ability to feel a large range of feelings and emotions, to such extend that every word and sentence carries its own emotion and feeling. Ex, when you say something angrily towards your child if they do something wrong (in your eyes), they feel your reaction/emotion and react differently than if you would say the same sentence in a calm manner. 

It is very important to note what your emotional state is when speaking to any person. Children are more aware/susceptible to emotions/feelings than adults, mostly because adults have shielded themselves from negative emotions for protection, resulting that adults these days are only aware of a small range of emotions. If we are able to drown out the noise of our mind and focus on our feelings, we should be able to communicate without words, by just holding the intention and feelings in our being. 

People build the foundation of their personalities when they are very young. (Birth to pre-teens)

If a father does not play with his son, the child might grow up to believe that his father is not meant to have a playful relationship with his son. This is seen in a lot of cultures where subordination to elders is part of the education. 

This also counts for playing as well as building a relationship with the child. There are a lot of adults that do not have strong relationships with their parents. 

Children learn by the examples they observe and feel from their parents. If the father gets angry easily at his mother, the example he/she learns is to become angry at women to get his way. 

A father who helps in the kitchen after dinner send a completely different lesson than the father who do not. Some lessons in this example are lessons about caring, equality, fun in cleaning. 

Children should be raised as part of the unit of the family, not a subordinate being there to make the lives of adults easier. 

Build the basis of respect and friendship while your child is young. “Respect” is a key lesson to learn, and respect goes both ways. If you are unable to respect your partner, then your child will also have a lack of respect towards one or both parents. 

Parents should own up to their behaviour and not punish their children for lessons they have inadvertently taught their children. If you see behavioural issues, then you should review your personal life. Children copy their parents before they start building their own personality. 

Make a habit to play and talk to your children. If you miss out on this stage, you might not get it back. Resulting in you staying in an old age home only getting visited once a year. 

Make the effort, build a strong, loving relationship with your kids now, while they are kids. 

Happy living.

Injoy

How to overcome 'shame' and be more successful?

 

Shame

 Do you feel ashamed of yourself sometimes? Ashamed of your actions and reactions, your body, your responses? Do you tend to feel guilty for other people’s actions?

Keep reading to find out why you punish yourself with shame and humiliation and what you can do to regain your pride and self-respect.

 

Shame can be defined as a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that arises in relation to the perception of having done something dishonourable, immoral, or improper. Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self.

 

What are some characteristics of shame?

 

·        Shame is a self-punishing behaviour like wearing dirty clothes, eating messily or too much, wearing too tight-fitting clothes, having a dirty car/house or not being on time can be shameful.

·        Tend to be over emotionally sensitive.

·        We create situations to feel humiliated about ourselves.

·        Creating situations of feeling pain. Pain being the feeling of shame/humiliation.

·        Eating messily and dirtying our clothes to feel shame.

·        Eating too much so our bodies become large in order to feel shame or humiliation.

·        Feeling shameful that you were not in control.

·        Begging makes us feel shame. And shame makes us beg. Accepting handouts from other people when you know you can do it yourself. i.e. begging

·        Having a large body.

 

Why do we feel shame?

 

Feelings of shame started in our childhood, we can also say the “emotional wound” of shame or humiliation. Seeing that we mostly engaged with our parents as children, it is likely that you felt humiliated by one of your parents. Humiliated by the parents’ control, and lack of freedom to do or think for yourself.

Shame is awakened when a child feels that one of his parents is ashamed of him/her or if a parent humiliates him/her.

 

In our adult life we tend to create situations where we can feel shame or humiliation. Strange that we ‘create’ these feelings for ourselves, right? Why would we create shameful or humiliating situations for ourselves if we don’t even like it? Old habits from childhood. In other cases, people use it to motivate themselves. Dig a whole so deep just to get ourselves out again. “If I feel so ashamed of myself, then I will be forced to take massive action.” It’s a method towards taking action. The only problem is, if we do not watch ourselves, we can find ourselves trapped in the habit of shame. I know I’m not the only person that made use of negative motivation to gain results. i.e. digging a hole to get ourselves out again. This is not the most optimal method of goal achievement.

Sometimes feeling shame is a way of not feeling or facing a fearful situation or a new situation. We would rather feel something familiar, something like shame. The saying goes, “rather the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’ Meaning, we would rather choose something we know, a feeling we know, than going into uncharted territory and emotions, or to change.

In most cases we create shameful situations as a method of self-punishment. When we do not like our behaviour, we would punish ourself with a humiliating experience in the hopes that we will not do it again.

In other words, shame can arise from not doing what you know should be done, punishing yourself by feeling shame or humiliated.

 

Shame is a self-punishing act we enforce upon ourself.

 

Shame is an emotion that comes from situations and perceptions where we feel embarrassed or humiliated.

 

Now, we can also see shame and humiliation as a self-punishing act. The punishment is the emotion of shame. Which is quite damaging.

This can happen in a work environment where someone calls you out on the quality of work you have done, like in business meetings or even in your own company.

Or when you are overly critical about yourself. “See how I look, I am fat.” Thoughts of never being good enough, “it is shameful what I have done or not done.” Or “I am ashamed of the quality of work I am doing.”

 

The interesting thing about our ‘wounds’ or perceptions is that while most people can experience the same situation, we process it differently. Some people might perceive a situation as painful and want to disappear, not to be seen or face the situation, while others get angry and act out while some feel humiliated or shame.

 You set yourself up for this punishment prior to the event. By eating more than you should or eating unhealthy foods, comfort foods. Eventually you will look out of shape and humiliated.

Or

Not doing the work you know should be done, leading to a shameful experience in front of your colleagues or clients.

 

 It’s a funny thing, people pick it up in your energy, most people are not aware of what they pick up, but they know they don’t want it.

  

Feelings of shame is hard to notice. At first we don’t recognise it as shame, we don’t want to admit it, we are humiliated and shameful. Only after some honest introspection will it become clear.

We feel shameful when we ask and/or accept frequent handouts from family and friends. We feel shameful when we know we are not doing enough to achieve a certain outcome or goal. i.e. making a target, financial or physical (health/fitness)

 

When John first came to me, his head was drooped when he entered the office apologising for being late. Because he was late, he was rushing and built up a sweat. He came to see me because his life was stagnant and needed to get it to a new level. His business stop growing and his health was dropping.

After the 1^st session he realised that he set himself up for humiliation by partially completing tasks, leaving room for shame. Not going for a run today lead to not going for a run the entire month, then 2 months, then 1 year. Now he was struggling to play with his kids due to his health and he is constantly running around fixing problems he did not complete from the start. This made him overweight, sweaty and behind on promises. He was always busy but never delivered results. Which was a bit of a humiliating experience when he had to show face.

We did an exercise called the “Web of life” where we identified where his priorities were subconsciously and how to reorganise them to align with his goals. 

Sufferers from shame tend to have a few things in common, i.e. body shape, eating habits and thinking habits. Body shapes are large and round, eating habits tend to be more unhealthy and fatty foods, and thinking habits are mostly that of self-blame.

We looked at his old habits and created a new set of habits that will support his ideal life. Physiology leads to psychology and psychology leads to physiology. In other words, what you think you do and what you do, you think.

Further down, we will discuss the exercises we have done to change shame around.

I’m happy to say that John has overcome his shameful suffering and is now living life the way it’s meant, without bounds.

 

Physiology leads to psychology and psychology leads to physiology.

 

Intuition is very important in this regard. Especially when you are taking on new things that you have no or little knowledge about. Like starting a new business or starting an exercise regime from scratch. You do not know how hard you must work and how hard you can push yourself so you give up way too early and eventually fall off the wagon, feeling shameful.

 What makes intuition so valuable is the fact that it gives you answers to your questions. “How can I lose weight?” or “How can I get more customers for my new business?” You almost always get an answer. It is not always what you expected but it is a start. i.e., walk around the block every day. Easy, right? Then why are you not doing it? Why don’t you trust your intuition? A walk today will lead to a 5km run in a couple of months. If you start with 5km today you might lose interest because it is too hard. Trust your instincts/intuition, your body and mind know how you work and what steps will lead to your ultimate desire.

Same thing happens for new business. A simple thought like hand out flyers in your street can lead to gaining the client/s you need. But not actioning it because you might feel humiliated handing out flyers is debilitating your growth. By not taking action you sit with the thoughts of “what if”. “What if” can lead to increased shame over time and a shameful depression. “What if I started exercising a year back?” What if I handed out flyers every month a year ago, where would my business be?”

 

Not following your intuition can lead to a shameful situation.

 

Eg. You are overweight and must lose 20kg. You ask yourself “what must I do to lose this 20kg?” you get a knowing to exercise and eat healthy. But you decide not to do any of these things. Now every time you eat you have thoughts and feeling of shame and disappointment. Shameful because you are stuffing your face again. Disappointment and humiliated because your clothes still don’t fit.

 

Eventually the shame expands. Now you are unhealthy and rely on other people to do things for you. Pick something up from the shops/pharmacy or hand you something from across the room. Expecting others to do things for you. It makes you feel powerless, powerless to change.

The shame is ever expanding, and to get rid of the shame just becomes more and more difficult.

A level of begging can also be found in the mind. Subconsciously you are begging and hoping for help. Begging for someone to hand you something, for self-control, for someone to take your hand and lead you to health or success.

 

Shame follows a beggar. Begging is the act you do when you feel you cannot get it for yourself. Shame precedes begging but the two are almost always together.

  

How can you get your pride back?

Become aware – Being aware of how you feel and think in a situation will allow you to change your thoughts and feelings and not be a victim of your past. 

 

Notice all the forms that shame can show up.

·        Loss of face

·        Humiliation

·        Embarrassment

·        Dishonour

·        Begging

·        Taking and relying on hand outs

·        Guilt

·        Disgrace

 

When you are aware of your thoughts and feelings, only then can you change it. This you will have to do prior to the event because when you are in the event/situation the emotions tend to be so strong and overpowering that we cannot change it around at that moment.

 

How?

Find a quiet time where you can sit and write down your thoughts. Start by breathing deeply. This will oxygenate the brain and give you better clarity of thoughts and feelings. Breath deep and slow for about a minute, focusing on your breath going in and out.

Take note of where you have felt shame during the day or week and what caused it.

 

Wright down the following and answer honestly.

 

·        Identify when and where you felt or noticed the feelings and thoughts of shame or humiliation?

·        What were you busy doing?

·        What was said and how did you feel about it?

·        Why did you perceive it in that way?

·        What would need to change for you to perceive it in a different way?

·        What excuses do you come up with to justify the feelings of shame?

 

How do you rather want to feel? Taking into consideration that pride is the opposite of shame. It is important to feel the ideal outcome as well.

 

·        What would you have done differently to avoid the feelings of shame?

·        What would you have done to feel pride?

·        How would that situation feel if you felt pride?

·        What would you have said or not said?

·        What actions would you have taken prior to the event to have been able to avoid or change the outcome?

 

Now, replay the situation in your mind and emotions again but with the ideal outcome. How would you have perceived the situation if you were full of pride? What would you have said and done? Have fun with this, and FEEL the emotions you want to feel. This might be difficult the 1^st time, but keep at it. This is reprogramming your mind.

 

Emotions are just chemical reactions released from your brain caused by thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life.

 

Next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you will remember how you want to feel, act and react and choose differently. Doing this every time you are in that situation will reprogram your mind and expectations to what you have pre planned. If you do this in a live situation about 3 times you will see your responses will have changed to the new response, filled with pride. Keep at it.

 

Remember, by holding on to your excuses you just prolong the suffering and shame.

 

Changing the narrative.

It always helps by replacing the troublesome feelings with the opposite feeling, in this case pride. After identifying your habits and triggers of feeling shame you need to plan how you can feel pride in those situations.

Create situations in your daily life where you can feel pride. Start small, be proud that you woke up when your alarm went off. Be proud that you ate a healthy meal. Be proud you walked around the block. Be proud you did the extra effort.

Then expand it to more areas until you feel proud all the time. Taking small steps will change your life. Don’t expect to be a 100 meter sprint champion in a week. But if you don’t start small today, you will never experience your pride.

If you know you can do more, then do more. Build habits of doing more for the purpose of feeling pride. Visualise situations during your day where you can feel pride.

Keep a journal, it helps you think clearly.

 

It all starts within. We have all made decisions that does not help and support our inner desires and vision, but we all have the ability to change them.

Remember, emotions are just chemical reactions released from your brain caused by thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life. Be smart about this, plan it out. Plan your emotions, plan your life. Small daily actions lead to success.

 

Happy living.