Un - Comfort zones

Comfort zones

What is a comfort zone? A place of familiarity that feels too comfortable to leave. Like being in a warm bed on a cold winter's day, it's nice, but eventually you need to get up and go to the toilet. 

A comfort zone is not always a nice (positive) place, but it is a safe place, the known. A comfort zone can be something like an abusive relationship, a bad work situation, lack of money or love or just a 'good' life, not the best life you really want. 

It is 'safe' from the responsibility of our own actions that keep us from planning and figuring out how to get to new heights or just out of our current situation. It requires little effort to stay I a comfort zone. 

A comfort zone can become a pit, an ever deepening pit if we aren't careful. As human beings, we are meant to grow and change. 

Breaking a comfort zone is a daunting task. It brings with it doubt, fear, frustration, disbelief and hard work.

This all is to ask you, do you really want this? If you decide no, it is too difficult, then you plunge back into the old familiar for another few years or until you can't bear the zone. 

Results usually come after frustration. You are being tested to your core, you are feeling bad, uncertain and frustrated with your thoughts, thinking and the lack of results in the outside world. But keep on persevering, results come after the frustration. Don't give up, never give up. Always keep your eyes on the prize. No successful person ever gave up just before the results came. 

I have recently placed myself out of my comfort zone. Well, events happened to lead me there because I didn't take the leap on my own. It put me so far out that I thought I lost a portion of myself. The feelings of having lost your identity and entity, the essence of who you are where questioned, and interrogated. Who were I the last 30 years…? and it all lead to this? To me feeling this way? It cant be. It has to be more than this. That time it was the worst thing ever, just to reflect back and see the magic the situation held for me. 

I remembered that frustration and disillusionment is part of the process of breaking free from a comfort zone, and so I persevered. It was tough and sometimes it felt lonely on the journey 

This 'zone breaking' came at a time where I needed to build a new perception of 'self' and the reality I choose to live in. I sometimes find that talking to people put you back in your comfort zone, they 'comfort' you to feel comfortable where you are now, in tour comfort zone. So choose careful who you share yourself with, you need people that uplift and support you to newer heights. 

Sometimes, you need to be frustrated with the self. Be sooo alone that you HAVE to find a solution, no one can baby you and feel sorry for you. That just keeps you in your comfort zone. Create a week or a month away from everything, alone. 

So I was amongst millions of people in India, but still alone. The English speaking ability of the people in some places is a bare minimum, uttering a selected few words and gesturing with the hands...food,toilet.. etc. Speaking to people about a deep life situation was not possible. 

It forced the mind to find resolutions within, to feel the frustration and to find a way out. 

During this comfort zone breaking, I realised that I created an uncomfort zone for myself the past few years. 

An uncomfort zone is a zone of familiarity inside your comfort zone. You don't like it, but you also don't do enough to break free from it. 

How did I break that zone? Perseverance, trust, trust the process, trust the body. It doesn't matter how you feel, keep your eyes on the prise and never deviate. You will feel down and confused. This is where faith, trust and belief comes in. Keep going, trust your judgement. Have faith in your desisions. And belief in the outcome, belief it already happened. 

I am thankful for this lesson, thankful for the events that lead to this situation. If it was not for that, I would still be searching and living inside my uncomfort zone. 

Breaking your comfort zone is not a fun place to be at, but it is worth it in the end. It only lasts a short while, then you can have the new life, the life you envisioned. 

Keep your eyes on the prize and endure the frustration. It's only a necessary part of your growth to New heights.

Get outside the zone, trust, have faith and believe. 

Injoy

Being and feeling in Love

Is striving to be/feel in love ALL the time a worthwhile thing? Can it even be achieved, outside of movies?

Some people strive to be in love in a relationship all the time. Some people work on “keeping it alive”. Which is not right or wrong, good or bad, depends on the intention.

The “In love” feeling a chemical that your brain releases when certain criteria is met in your mins. i.e. When a girl dresses a certain way, has her hair done a certain way and touches you while she speaks to you, THEN, you are in love.

There is a flaw or challenge with that ‘Wanting’ of being In Love.

-         By being in love All the time, you will forget how it feels to be “In love”. (Because you can’t have warm in the absence of cold. If there is no cold, how do you know something is warm?) You will come to realise this, and willingly or unwillingly fall out of love just to be able to feel ‘in love’ again. Not knowing this cycle and yearning to feel in love ALL the time, can cause couples to fight/argument just to make up afterwards to feel the ‘in love’ feeling again.

Start to look inside if you and your partner are fighting or arguing a lot. IS one or both of you looking to feel in love, or are you really just incompatible. Face the truth and make a plan. Relationships should work, it should not be work. If you choose for your relationship to be work, then so it will be. I suggest, choose something else and make it happen.

A way to overcome this:

1.      Plan your ‘In Love’ feelings/situations with your partner, so that it doesn’t happen unwillingly after a “talk” or fight.

Plan it in the mental and emotional sense as well. This is basically where date night comes in, however it is not used and understood correctly. This is where you should plan to feel in love again for the night. Both partners must of course be fully invested in this. Plan how you will feel in the presence of your partner, how your partner will feel in your presence. How will every touch feel, every word spoken, every breath taken feel for you? How will the night feel, from start to finish. Visualise this a few days in advance. The more intense and believable the visualisation, the more you will have that experience. Have fun.

This is way less hassle that the fight and make up route.

2.      Realise this cycle and end it. Understand who you are and why you wanted and/or needed to feel in love all the time. Understand what a relationship is without he in love feeling all the time. Understand that a relationship can be something else as well. Define what a relationship means FOR YOU, and live it. Plan step 1 above if you want the experience of in love again. Its never gone, you just choose to be in control of the feeling of ‘in love’.

Realise that when the in love phase is over, you are just 2 people living together. You need to look past the in love qualities and look at the person underneath when you make long term commitments. Choose a person whom you can live with easily and effortlessly. Whom you share common values, like keeping the place tidy, putting the toothpaste cap on so it doesn’t dry out etc.

Some people choose 1 partner for the rest of their life, make it a good one. Get along and love a lot and love the journey. You have decided you don’t want to do this journey alone and chose a partner. Make it fun.

A relationship should be amazing and magic. If it is not, change it or change yourself.

Living without the ego

What does it take to live without the ego.

What is the ego. Can we go as far to say any thought is ego?
Yes, for you to have the thought, you see it through your own vision and perception of the world, which is ego.
So, to live without the ego, is to live here, now. To live without thoughts, and just be.

Sounds daunting? What if true freedom and salvation lies in that space, is it not worth it then? What if all suffering ends in that space, is it not worth it.
When will it be worth it it?

It is worth 'thinking' about so long.

What is the ego? It is that which you are not.

Keep pondering.

Retiring at 32 - A journey of becoming

As some of you know, I have recently embarked on an interesting journey of becoming. 

I have left my job

Sold my possessions

And remapped my mind & way thinking

Why did I do that? I was looking for answers. Answers to life, the universe, the “why” to everything. Just to have found the simplest answers to them all. (Topic for another discussion)

At first I thought the answers would be sooo lengthy and complicated that only scientists can discover them.

Lucky not

On my journey, I seeked high and low for the answers. The deeper I went, the more answers I got. It was NEVER ending to both extremes, up and down.

Then one day, I had this realisation, it is not a place, it sis something to be found somewhere.

It is a feeling. ‘Heaven’ is a feeling, not a place. You can’t find it by looking for it, you can only find it by being it. You can never get there, you can only be there.

Wow, when I grasped this concept, I started working on myself to further understand and achieve this wonderful state.

This universe is so amazing and vast, you will fins any and every answer you look for. So start looking for better answers.

·        Worrying if aliens are looking at us is unnecessary

·        Worrying if cats rule the world is unnecessary

·        Worrying if your partner is cheating on you, is unnecessary

Where do we stop?

Stop, take deep breath, and notice where you are. Feel the feel. Hear the sounds. See the colours. Smell the fragrances. Just be.

Feel that? That is life.

So why did I do what I did?

Because

I am going to live. I am going to Be.

Because there is nothing else to do than just be. Its human Being after all.

I made the decision to actively practice all the concepts I have learned over the years. All my experiences and inner guidance. I

I have made this decision in May 2018, and 6months later I resigned from my job as a new person.

Still not answering the why? I do not agree with the way the world is being run now. We are not meant to love like this, to suffer like this. (Anything less than constant pure love is suffering J )We were meant to live a fuller and freer life.

I decided to pursue that, and I found it. It was inside, not on top. J

It takes effort at the start to feel love and joy constantly. I mean, we work with other people that mess up all the time.

So I thought, if I can get a job or position/role where I can do what want, then I’ll surely be happy.

Apparently not.

For me to feel love and joy and passion and contentment etc every second of the day, I must do something what I truly love and find passionate.

Si I asked myself. What would I love to do? What am I currently doing for free, which other people are asking money for? What brings tears of joy to my eyes?

And I found I love sharing my knowledge and wisdom with other people, helping them grow and achieve everything they ever wanted to achieve. Seeing the joy of possibilities shoot up on their eyes when they unlock net opportunities and possibilities.

The closest profession I found to that, was life coaching. I did a course and was amazing.

No I asked, how am I going to make money from this? Surely I must survive…

Here is the funny thing.

So every time I think of ways to make money from this “skill/talent”, my attention is away from giving and helping.

It frustrates me to ‘bog’ my mind and life down with thoughts like that.

SO I decided I will love, be and help people where they are ready and want assistance to see and become their brilliance.

I feel freer if I don’t think about making or accumulating money. I am open for donations however. Hehe

So, that is how I came to be where I am now. And I love it.

I now help people either achieve their dreams and desires or help people see their true purpose and passion in life.

Have an amazing journey.

Be

Why do some stop achieving after school?

Ever wondered where your achievements dissapeared too when you finished school and started working?
When we were kids, we had all these achievements ahead of us, eating on our own, walking, running, talking, riding bike, playing sports etc.
These achievements were mostly driven by our parents seeing that they knew what was required for us.

Now, did you continue to create situations for you to keep achieving after school?
What have you achieved after school? Except a job. What else?

Start creating situations for you to achieve again, and your life will feel more fullfilled and accomplished. The more frequent, the more you will feel accomplishment.

Examples, go to the gym, willingly and with a goal in mind. You cant achieve by just being there, what are you there to do.
Art, paint, read, wright. There are sooo many things to achieve in, just remember not to measure yourself on the values of the world around you , but rather instead on your own values that support you and your happyness.