What are habits?
How does
habits serve us?
Can we
employ habits to serve us?
How does
habits play a role in forming our life as we know it?
Are we
not just a bunch of habits?
What
habits are you?
Wikipedia
define habits as follows.
A habit is a routine of behaviour that is
repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. The American Journal of
Psychology defined a "habit, from the standpoint of psychology, [as] a
more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through
previous repetition of a mental experience."
Habits
are very interesting. Habits may serve us or drive us to our own destruction.
Some build habits of love and prosperity and others build habits of destruction
and gloom. (Addictions, poverty, bad friends, emotional addiction)
If you
look at the successful people in the world, they have built their life around
success habit. Habits that is supporting the life they want and desire.
All
habits are difficult to start and build, but once you have set the habit in
place, then it is on auto pilot and you can focus on enjoying the experience of
that habit.
A reason
it is so difficult for people over in the 30s and up to change is, because of
all the habits they have formed when they were younger. If you formed bad
habits, then it is very difficult to change them, but possible. It is very
important for young children to form good habits early on, habits that support
a powerful thinking, to make their life easier later on.
Build
success habits and good relationship habits. Plan your life. Help your children
to plan their lives and help them create the habits they need. If you don’t
know, then ask someone who does now.
Building habits
It is
said that it takes about 21 days to form a new habit, just to be safe use 30
days. After doing an activity for 30 days in a row you will feel as if it is
part of your life and routine. Take exercise for example.
When you
start it is very nice for the first few days, then it becomes very daunting to
even think of going to the gym. It is your old habits that is trying to keep
the status quo, the ego does not like change.
However,
if you persist and continue going to the gym everyday if you feel like it or
not, then after 30 days it will feel awkward not going to the gym. You
have an empty feeling, like ‘what am I going to do with myself now.’ Which is
good, then you take your body to the gym again and repeat.
This is
in a nutshell how to build habits. Easy, right?
The
concept is easy, the will power is the hard part. Life happens so slowly for us
on the inside, that you never realise the small progress or regress you make on
a daily basis. Skipping one day might feel like its ok, but that leads to another
day, then a week pass and sooner than later you are out of shape, unhealthy and
back to your old habits.
Part of
building habits is having a strong ‘will’, and even will power if formed by
building a habit around strong will power.
(Will
power is built by practicing your ‘will’, like doing what you said you will do
no matter what. If you said you are going to the gym every day, then go to the
gym every day, that is what builds will power, sticking to your commitments.)
Successful people know how to
build habits and use it to their advantage
Once you
realise how important a strong ‘will’ is for building habits, and you feel like
you do not have a strong ‘will, then perhaps you should consider a strong will
to be one of your first habits you need to build.
What if I want to strengthen my “will”, how would I do that?
The exercises are simple yet effective. Any subconscious work needs time
and repetition, so stick to it. These methods make changes in your subconscious
mind. It changes the way you process a certain situation or happening. For
example. If you have a habit of sticking to your commitments, then you will
also plan to be where you said you will be. Because you already know you are
going to a certain place or event, there is no reason for you to complain or to
make up fake excuses in your head of why you do not want to be there.
These exercises change a set of thoughts and expectations that influence
the way you experience life.
Stick to your commitments – You know those moments you talk to yourself in your head? When you
make those empty commitments? Like, “tomorrow, I’m going to the gym.”
Just
because no other person can hear you does not make that commitment less
important. In fact, it makes it more important. You are the most important
person in your life. Don’t disrespect yourself.
Stick to
your commitments. There is always a good reason you made them, not to break
them.
Create a
new habit, something inline with your goals. Romance, career, life etc
“I am
going to do my taxes tomorrow after work, this time I promise.” If you say to yourself that you are going to
do something, then it is a good idea you follow through with your word, even if
you don’t feel like it, even if it rains, just do it. You will feel better
after doing it in unfavourable conditions than the excuse you made up for
avoiding it. Build that will.
Create a challenge – Create a challenge for yourself where you can practice implementing
your will power. Like going to the gym or start an exercise routine for 30 days
in a row. Don’t skip a day, you are building a new habit. Remember to do it,
weather you feel like it or not. You might eventually notice either way is your
choice, to feel like it or not to feel like it. Make the best
choice for your future self.
After
you have built an exercise habit, you will feel empowered to build another
habit. Do it when the inspiration is there, ride the wave of change. Set another goal and build another
habit.
‘Will’
power is strengthened by practicing your will, sticking to your commitments.
Even the ones you make to yourself.
Your
life experience is just a bunch of habits. The time you wake up. The food you
eat. Your morning routine. The thoughts you think. The reactions you have.
You are
your habits.
Creating
your next habit?
What
habits should I create next?
It all
depends what your goals are. Its always good to start with the body, create a
good healthy habit (Exercise and diet). The body is easily adaptable, meaning
you get easily used to your circumstances and surroundings. If you think eating
healthy is less tasty, give it a month and you would have forgotten how you use
to eat and accept the new diet.
Life has
formulas for us to use, use it to your advantage, don’t be the victim of life,
be the master. Choose good feelings above unhealthy food. There are a lot of
benefits from a healthy diet.
As you
are mastering this habit, you will start to become aware of how it is unfolding
and you can make changes as you are going along to your goals.
You will
notice that you will need another skill or way of thinking. Perhaps you should
get your temper under control. Now you start the process of creating a habit
for his new skill.
In this
case, choose a way you would rather want to react instead of angry. Find ways
to use this new way of reacting and implement it.
Make a
commitment to change
And
stick to it.
Some
habits run deeper than others. For example, to change a behaviour like anger,
you need to go to the source and change it. You have to work out ‘thinking’ and
‘reacting’ plans in your head.
In
contrast…
To get
your body in shape, you need to get your body exercising.
That’s
why its best to start with your body habits before you go into your mental and
emotional habits.
You will
always know what habit to create next. Trust yourself.
As you
create and master these habits, you will notice that you do not consciously
have to implement these behaviours anymore, it is on auto pilot. In fact, it feels
awkward if you do not do these habits.
Choose
how you would like to be in life, and figure out what habits you need to live
that life. It will take you some planning, nut it is planning worth making.
What
habits are important for you?
What
habit do you need to implement immediately?
Share
your experience with habits. Let’s grow together.
Live a
SourceFull life
Francois
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