Being stuck in rut or comfort zone has its positives, but when the comfort zone is getting the better of your life and emotions, then it’s time to pull up those socks and jump into action.
One way to work yourself out of a comfort zone
is by a process of ‘enquiry of the mind’. We will start observing what is
happening in the mind. What stories are being repeated day in and day out,
minute after minute? Who is thinking about those stories, raising all those
thoughts about stuff I did not want to think about?
By starting to observe those thoughts you will
see the underlying idea or intention behind the thoughts and behind the
stories. I.e., most men have a secret superhero identity in their minds. You
stand in a bank, and suddenly a robber comes barging in, screaming at shouting
at all the people at the counter. He has loads of weapons and looks as if he
can use them. But somehow you save the day with your secret skills no one knows
about.
Or you are a villain and you save the dame.
Or
Some woman would like to find a wild man and
‘tame’ him, domesticate him. Like beauty and the beast.
Our stories are about our expectations we have
in life as well. How many times have you thought your boss will be angry at
something before you even approached them? Or your partner? Expecting someone
will be angry, makes them angry. Try changing that expectation to a positive outcome.
·
How
would the situation look like if it worked out positively?
o
How
does that feel like?
·
What
would you need to do to have the situation work out positively?
·
Who
do you need to be?
Try it.
You need to become the ideal situation as whole
being, not just a thought.
Are you starting to connect some dots in your
mind? Are you seeing how certain events or situations happened in line with
your ‘story’? “Mmm… maybe it wasn’t Susan’s fault…? Maybe I had a part in the
situation by speaking and acting out in the way I would have liked the
situation to end up in, steering the outcome? What would have happened if I
expected the situation to end better, happier?
We need to change our story that is playing in
our mind, the stories that is keeping us back, holding us back from making that
bold move we know we must make. To get that girl or that guy, to get out of a
bad situation, or to just level up your life.
A good method to change your story is,
solitude. Solitude will make you become aware of your thoughts and feelings and
where they originate from in the mind. i.e. why did you just feel that feeling
or emotion? What thought triggered that feeling. And why? Was it trying to
protect you from something, like embarrassment or rejection?
When you realise the ‘why’, then you can start
changing your story by giving it a new ‘why’, a better ‘why’, a ‘why’ that
supports a happy and prosperous life.
Solitude for me is to find a quiet place where
you won’t be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. Put away all distracting
electronic devices. You can play calming meditation music.
Sit upright with your bock straight. Put your
hands on your thighs or your lap and focus on your breathing and your body.
Just feel your body. Feel yourself in the body and keep breathing. Every time
your thoughts wander off, just bring it back to your body and your breathing.
You will notice you might have some itches and
twitches to scratch that is bothering you. Don’t scratch or give attention to
them. Bring your focus on you’re the feeling of your body and your breathing. At
the start they might be very distracting, but just teach yourself that you will
not pay it any attention and it will go away. This is a sneaky way your ego uses
to distract you from the real underlying problems and stories. As soon as you
scratch, you lose your focus and thoughts enter your mind. (When you do
scratch, notice where your thoughts go when you scratch.)
Don’t scratch however, and just observe your thoughts,
don’t think about them. Keep breathing and focusing on your body while
observing the thoughts.
You will eventually notice your mind is doing
things on its own. Conversations are being held between other characters beside
yourself, questions are being asked and answered and every now and again a
thought runs across your mind that you did not initiate. (All in good energy. We will delph into this area in a
later release.)
Where did it come from? Who’s thought was it if
it wasn’t ‘mine’? Was it something else or was it a different part of me? What
part of me was it then?
Was it my subconscious or my soul? Do some
solitude and let me know.
Keep doing this until you have managed to
observe the mind. This can take some practice, but it is absolutely worth
it.
When you start piecing together the entire
story and plot, you can start to strategies how you will change the story. By
catching yourself playing the story in your head, then changing it to a better
version. This is tough at the start as you are busy rewiring your brain, years
of thinking the same thoughts needs to change now, so give it some time.
When you have identified the story and where it
plays off in real life, now you sit and visualise the situation changing and turning
out the way you want it to turn out. Do this until you feel it. Key is in the
feeling. Do this in your solitude sessions.
Keep in mind, it is difficult to change a
behaviour in the moment. To change your behaviour or response in a situation
that usually make you angry into a calm and understanding state will need some
pre planning.
When you have felt the way you want to respond as,
then you can practice it in real time. You will be tested a couple of times,
someone is going to present you with an ‘anger’ situation, but then you must
just remember your new story and live it, be it. Your story will start to
change as you support the new story by real life situations, soon your story
will have a new chapter or cover.
Try it. Send me some feedback on your
experience.
Next week we will discuss how affirmations can
assist in the process of changing your stories and how it helps create habits.
Remember, you are not your past nor your story.
and
Change your story, change your life.
Live SourceFUll
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